N Monday, November 15, 2004
its one of those nights again
i dunt knw whats wrong. something just hit me and i kept on going back. i dunt like the way im living, i dunt like my identity and i hate myself for who i am; i wish to be someone else. i was thinkg, i cud have prevented that "off", i cud have have prevented many other things frm happening. all these cud have been a change of history in my life and of course, a change of me nw. it wudnt have started right frm the beginning. but, no regrets. all the regrets i have, was nt making it long. i wunder where do i stand nw, in that plc, nw that everything's gone and i hate myself for that. and i hate those misunderstandgs that has been goin on. i HATE people who misunderstand me.
i have an ugly past and i blame myself for it. i have to live with it for the rest of my life. if theres a second chance, i wanna rewrite my past 16yrs of life. i just dunt like being me. sorry for this entry, something just got over me and i had to reflect. everything is impossible. everything is fated. its god's plan and he has his reasons for all his doings - that is to make you learn frm your mistakes and stand up fast. thats huw people grow and change too. they grow stronger and their way of thinking wud sink into a deeper level. this is life. you got to live with it. there is no second chance to what you've done. i shudnt be complaing about my life. there are people worse off than me. so SHUT. im indeed very fortunate.
what a contradicting entry. ignore me please.
1:32:00 AM
